Breaking the mold

I'm out of sync.

I did this to myself so I could break old patterns and habits. As humans we are so attached to our way of thinking, living, being. Change makes us scratch at every last shred of familiar we have left until we have no choice but to move forward into the new. I'm breaking the habit of holding on. I'm letting go so I can change now and not when the next wave hits and knocks me down.

Yesterday a bee landed on my hand. I felt a sense of calm come over me that instilled a ripple of hope. A ripple of energy so deep that it hit the bottom of the well that is my soul. The bee kissed me and blessed me. Almost as if to say 'You are now pollinated, grow into the greatness that you were always meant to become'.

As I dreamed last night I saw pictures of old places and times my energy still resided. The pictures looked like a photoshop slide show with shades of grey to note the uselessness that holding onto them contained. I started shredding the images. I pulled at the string that held these images together and they pulled up and scattered into the wind disappearing back into the ethers to be recycled into love. As I pulled I looked down and saw raw nerves of freedom reveling themselves. The intensity in which they tingled and snapped awakened my nervous system and broke open the walls of my heart. My protection layer was gone. I was also set free.

When I woke I had the feeling of being outside of myself. I grounded but it wasn't the same feeling. My sight was different. I felt different internally as well as externally. My transition into the morning routine was bumping. I have changed the routine so I can have time for yoga while the girls wake and do their quiet morning play. I felt disoriented now having my routine shifted as well. As I sat on the yoga mat and closed my eyes I felt an internal wind blowing me. I was out of sync and into a new space that will quickly become my new norm. Now is the time to set the intentions while my shell is soft and pliable.
Now I break the mold and grow into me only more refined. Stronger both physically and metnally. Flexible and centered. Creative and giving. Grounded and willing. My new outward expression of the inward love that has always been contained within me waiting to be born again in this moment now.