Amazing Grace

We drove for 9 days.

Laura Ingalls Wilder home in Missouri

We travelled through 13 states.

Goose medicine to guide our journey

We drove 3,494 miles.

Pit stop in the middle of no-where Kansas 

We connected with the earth and discovered the beauty found on the side of the road. Nature does not discriminate. Wild grows regardless of it's location.

Wildflowers of Wyoming

Wildflowers of Wyoming2

We took time almost everyday to be in nature. To observe. To play. We took time to visit with each other in our hearts. We took time to talk about how we felt in each space. We talked about how we felt as we drove further from our old home and our dear friends. We laughed, we cried and we were always reminded of the Divine Love in all moments.

Morning Oregon sunshine

What I couldn't capture in pictures were all of the wild animals we saw, both alive and dead on the sides of the road. We have a special fondness for the Antelope in Wyoming. They touched us with their beauty and wild abandon. I was also saddened to see, after 18 years of being away, that the wild Buffalo that I used to see at the Colorado-Wyoming border completely gone. That night I felt a sadness that went deep.

The most important thing we experienced was LOVE. A deep supportive love that endures all things. A deep love that just knows what is needed in that moment. A deep love that know no boundaries. 

Girls holding hands down main street in Pendleton, OR.

We have arrived in the Evergreen State. Back to our roots. Ready for the next adventures. 

In Wildness,
Leah

Little Hands

I've been blessed with two extra sets of hands in my life for over six years. The last five years they have been helping me in many different ways.

They've helped me learn the gift of flowers.

The showed me the love of trees.

These little hands have taught me to get dirty and play with the earth.

They taught me to rest when I'm tired,

to keep going even when I might be stuck on high ground,

and at the end of the day to always enjoy the quiet moments in nature.

What I wasn't ready for was the day that these little hands grew. I wasn't ready for the day that they came to me and said 'Mama, I taught myself to make bracelets!"

After I took this picture to document her triumph, as well as her ability to follow instructions out of a book without any help or the ability to read, I noticed her hands. They were strong and her bones were defined. The chunky fingers that wrapped around mine while we walked or fell asleep had grown into fine tools.

These hands can hold a needle and create with little guidance. These hands are learning to cook, clean more effectively and knit. These hands continue to stretch, grow, touch and learn all that life has to offer.

These hands have held my heart from the moment theirs started beating. These hands, all four of them, are the greatest gift I have ever received. I look forward to seeing what they can teach me next.

Endless Moments Await,
Leah

Releasing the glitter fears

I took the glitter out of hiding.

I reorganized our exploration area so we had access to all things creative and interesting. Then I pulled the special glitter container out of hiding. I held back my natural urge to cringe as I placed it in an area where the girls could reach it. I forced a smile as they cheered and put the container in a place of honor on their craft shelf.

We are big on glitter. It's sparkly and makes everything fancy and fun. It also creates a mess when it's spilled or not glued down enough. I am forever removing glitter from places I would rather not have glitter present. Here's the thing though, my girls love it. They think that all art should include it. They mix it in paint, glue, water, and even mud. It's what they love and I have been putting it in hiding only to be brought out for special occasions. {Read: when I feel like cleaning it up} So after purchasing glitter glue and even glitter paint I finally realized that nothing will replace the fun of those little sparkles falling onto the page as they are shook from their clear plastic containers.

What have I learned from this (aside from my OCD tendencies on things messy)? I've learned again that I just need to trust my girls to make the right choices. I've also learned that letting them make a mess is ok because we can clean it up. Life is messy. My children should have a space that they can be messy when their creative spark is ignited. All the messy things in the house are now at their level. I'm working on not controlling how messy it gets. One step at time, one project at a time.

Creatively yours,
Leah

Contemplation and Truth

I have been contemplating how we ever reached a point in our evolution where our dress size and flawless facial skin defined who we are as women? Worse, we have perpetuated this wicked concept to continue for more than half a century (maybe even longer).

I wonder, as I see endless news feeds with celebrity gossip or billboards promising lost inches and smaller rear ends, how we agreed that this should be our norm. Being raised in a world where these are common everyday practices had left me numb.

Now I raise two young girls who are starting to notice the different sizes of people’s bodies and the way airbrushed models look on the cover of magazines in the check out line. They ask question about why some people are made up and why I don’t even wear lipstick. You see, nearly six years ago when they were born I started to wage a war on this warped sexist view of reality. I started turning off the TV and cancelling beauty magazine subscriptions so that I could figure out what true beauty meant. I checked in with myself instead of the Internet to decide how I felt on any given issue. I no longer listened to the gossip. I never take beauty pictures for face value. In fact I stopped looking at them in the check out line, rather I now make a point to connect to the person in front or behind me. Eye contact can really bring out the truth in a person. I started connecting with myself. It was uncomfortable and life changing. My additions to my mineral makeup stopped and I started stocking up on books that fed my mind and entertained me the way no amount of trash TV ever could. I broke down the barriers and started talking about my body and discovering my blood time in ways that had once seemed taboo. I stood naked in the mirror and faced myself for what I looked like after the birth of twins. This alone was the most painful experience I had ever encountered and really it should have been the most beautiful. I can’t explain this all to my daughters, I can only show them through action the gift of self-love. This is how they will grow to love themselves for who they are and not what they look like in comparison to someone else.

For my fellow sisters than need some guidance, here is the honest truth: You are beautiful just the way you are- make-up free, less your spanks, messy natural hair and full of life. Who you are should never be measured skin deep. You would never have survived a best friends betrayal, your first menstruation, childbirth or someday the death of your loved one if that was the case. Your worth is contained far deeper than your flesh. Your blood time is sacred and you should honor it. Each month you bleed and yet you never die. Utilize this strength and find it’s beauty. Speak the words you long to voice and don’t worry about what others might think. Smile at your fellow sisters in the store and for goodness sake help hold the door open for the Mom with three children who’s trying to wrangle a crazy toddler out of a busy street. Let’s help, compliment and support each other on our paths. Let go of the idea that you will love yourself when you finally fit into skinny jeans. Stand naked in front of the mirror and say ‘Damn you look good today’ even if you don’t mean it. Don’t allow yourself to be chained to the world that an advertising exec decided was the reality for the day. You will never win that race. You will age, you will wrinkle, you will grow larger or sag or shrink. You body is fluid and in motion. Your soul is a vast endless well waiting to be filled and shared. Choose what can nourish you deeply and release that which is fickle and a fraud. Your worth more than your weight in gold, don’t sell out for less than what you deserve. Better yet, own yourself. You can be in a healthy loving relationship and still be you. Love you- it is your best asset.

This is the real reality my dear fellow sister, the real truth. I will scream it from the mountaintops and share it deeply with all those who will listen. My daughters will have memorized these truths and they will help pass them on into the world, will you?

Loving you deeply,

Leah

Learning our way

We each learn in our own way. My girls love to take traditional learning tools or experiences and make them all their own. Here are some pictures of our learnings this week.

Bead decided that PB&J's were much better made half jelly and half peanut butter on EACH piece of bread.

I have always made food art for them. It's just something I like to do. They do it now too. Beach created a butterfly.

They also have been practicing using the camera for months now. This is not the best photo they have ever taken. It is however an example of how creative their photos are getting. They now take them with different lighting, different angles, and different studies then before. They have taught themselves all of this and more. I have only showed them how to turn the camera on and off. This picture was taken on our field trip to the White Sands Buddhist Monastery. They took so many beautiful photos I was blown away.

They also use Cuisenaire rods in different ways than intended. Which they love to use to create their own form of mandalas.

We love our form of schooling. It's natural. It's organic by nature. It's child led with parent love filled in when needed.

<3

Break Free~~~

Like a feather caught on a breeze I find myself lifted and floating in life.

I see light everywhere and yet know my shadow self is also present to help with growth when needed.

My girls are expanding and growing in their understanding of life that is greater than I have ever seen within them. I also see their still very young side that I honor and refuse to cut short. Their cute cubby faces are all that is left of the baby body. The minds are ripe and full of wonder. They still get clumsy and they still get whiny. I love it all and take it in with a deep breath and an awareness I will never want to change any moment with them.

School is starting in most circles here in the homeschool community. We are continuing our Child Lead~ Life Learning unschooling approach by simply adding some new activities to our list of life. It's easy to over schedule the heck out of life these days. There is just so much to do and see and learn and be. I let it flow and feel the currents for what feels right for us. How does it serve our family, our core beliefs and will it help us a year from now? These are great questions for life and I'm using them for schooling. It's helped bring focus. It's helped remind me what our goal is here as well as our core values.

When I asked the girls what they wanted to learn their response was learning to cook and learning to drive. The second was said with a giggle. I've decided that learning to ride a bike without training wheels might be in order as a first step towards driving larger than life cars. Girls can dream and their honesty is just one of the million reasons I love them.

I'm also honoring my dreams. Focusing on what I need to do for myself and my creativity. All these things come together to create life. I am very blessed and feeling it with every fiber of my being.

Blessings to all on the start of your course in learning,
Leah

Sacred Space

My personal temple is undergoing some reconstruction. It's been crying out for years to be re-worked and re-evaluated. While mercury was in retrograde the quiet moment of truth finally came, my body took center stage. I sat and listened. Deeply listened. You see, I hear my body daily. It's how I choose what to eat, how much to drink, what movements to make and when I need a break from life. I am connected and so having to listen to the long list of changes it was requesting was profound. It was also another moment of awakening. My body knows I have issues with the way it looks. My body figured out that I was avoiding mirrors and faking my self-love aura around my little girls. My mediation talk with my body put it all on the line and broke my heart so I could heal both sides of me.

Expansion in the Spiritual level of the body structure can only go so far. It requires all of the other layers (bodies) to also be in alignment. The missing link has been my physical form. So what did my body say was missing? It wasn't food consumption (I eat clean). It wasn't limiting stimulants (I haven't touched anything other than caffeine in 6 years). It wasn't even the need for sleep or quiet space. My body needed LOVE! My body wants me to use it as a vessel for self expression. My body wants me to move, swim, dance, bend, and shake. My body wants to run and play like the little girls it spends almost all of it's moments with daily. My body wants to be honored on all levels, fatty or otherwise. Self Love is pointless if you skip one part of the whole.

My body whispered words of love and lit up like a star. My energy twinkled and I felt as if I was floating and glowing into the night. I felt free. I felt pain. I felt release and relief. I felt all the stars align in honor of my healing that was started in that moment of truth to self.

It's a new day and I'm living in an awareness that is exciting. I'm honoring the physical form in a way that I have never done before. I have created a new ritual for myself that I will be preforming for the next 365. I will find a way to move and utilize my body in form. There will be no limits and pushing myself is actually part of the fun. I will never miss another chance to swim with Beach and Bead. I will dance when my favorite song comes on. I will break out in yoga poses while standing in the Disney lines. I will learn new forms of movement that require muscles never used. I will grow stronger so I can cross the monkey bars with my littles. I will move for the honor of this Sacred Temple that is my Body. My moment for movement is here and watch out world because here I am!

And the learning continues....


All My Love!
Leah